I’m not someone who deals well with emotional situations. Anything that requires raw communication. I spent most of my life learning that I should be quiet, bottle my feelings, have no visible emotion, it kept me out the way, I learnt it was more important to try and be invisible and then, just maybe I wouldn’t get hurt, I wouldn’t get picked on … if I made everyone else comfortable maybe I wouldn’t lose anyone else important or that mattered. Letting people in just felt like a free invitation for more pain and hurt to me..

To be honest I’m still struggling with that.
I do have a small handful in my life… a few that no matter what love me unconditionally, they love me no matter where I am on the emotional scale or how snappy I get out of frustration…they don’t back off, they step forward .. That’s everything.
I’m always trying to evaluate my actions and my emotions, I’m always trying to be the best version of myself. That doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days, That doesn’t mean I don’t get snappy or sad or frustrated but it does mean I will try and step back and look at a situation and see if and how I could have handled it better. I try and check in. I apologise when I can see I could have done better.
I have people in my life that intentionally or not push me to grow and dig deeper and release issues I didn’t realise still existed and some I didn’t realise existed at all…
Sometimes it’ll all be you and sometimes you will both be a little wrong, sometimes the other person may not see or feel that, apologise for your part anyway, stay open and forgiving anyway, the right people will grow with you and others may well leave..just stay with hope that the right people will enter and stay in your life..

Life will always throw us new curve balls and situations. Sometimes people leave and that hurts and some will stay through all of it… hurt, pain, depression, anxiety, joy, laughter, Love….life.
Obviously we have some people we hope won’t leave and sometimes that causes us fear.
Our problems come when we act from a place of fear rather then a place of love.
That’s when we close ourselves…That’s when we cause ourselves and loved ones unnecessary problems.
May we all find people that stay our journey with us…no matter how messy we can be.