“I was sat meditating this morning, rose quartz on my chest and citrine in my hands. I wanted to address my self-worth, health, why I wouldnt let myself eat well, keep up my excerise routine that I so enjoyed and feel happy.

During this meditation I met my deepest, broken version of myself, the younger me. She wept when I spoke and told me she was undeserving and not worthy of feeling good about herself, of being healthy, of feeling sexy, of loving herself. She questioned why she would have the right or power to feel good about herself and her body.

It made me sad to realise this was still buried within me, that deep down I still held such feelings of ugliness and unworthiness towards myself.

I felt I had come so far, but realising this broken perosn inside me still felt like the bullied, shy, nothingness child I once was, it made me see, healing has to be done.

I need to take smaller steps to making myself whole. I can’t look at it as one big thing. I could fail at it (as that is what inner me felt, failure, undeserving.)

I need to look at it in smaller steps. Day by day. I need plans and I need help and guidance to bring me into the routines I so long for. I need to break this down to realise how achieveable it is and how capable I am.

I need to accept a failure doesnt mean you are weak and incapable. it means it is a lesson and it is making me stronger and MORE capable of achieving the great things I want to achieve in my life and in my work.

For anyone who has felt like me.
WE ARE NOT FAILURES
WE ARE WARRIORS
WE ARE BRAVE
AND WE ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE WE ARE OURSELVES!“

Blessings,
Gabriella